Think about those times in your life when you have felt inspired to something really great. Where does that inspiration come from?
The Holy Spirit. God inspires us to do great things with our lives.
----Matthew Kelly

Welcome to The Not So Perfect Catholic!

Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, just a Catholic empty-nester trying to figure it all out. The views on this blog are my own.

Trying to Grasp What It All Means

I am writing this on the morning of Good Friday so I am in the throes of feeling the grief at Jesus being betrayed and left by his disciples to die on the cross. I am feeling the hatred that He must have felt during the Way of the Cross. I am feeling lonely, rejected, and just downright sad.

Humbled and Honored

I had the honor of playing my flute for Holy Thursday Mass, along with my flute partner, 2 violins, and a cello. The music that our director prepared was beautiful and added so much to the Mass. In addition to that, I was so humbled to be asked to be one of the 12 parishioners to sit on the altar and have the priest wash our feet. It was more humbling and emotional than I could have imagined. I had been asked before and said no. Last year as I sat in the pew watching I knew I would say yes if asked again.

Dropping Out

As The Transfer of the Blessed Sacrament made its way to the Adoration Chapel, I noticed people began to drop out. This struck me as I thought of Jesus making his way to Golgotha. The apostles dropped out as did other followers of Jesus until there was only the Blessed Virgin, Mary of Clopas, Mary of Magdala, and John (John 19:25). Everyone else dropped by the wayside. How many times have I "dropped out" during my lifetime?
Do we realize just what He did for us? The ultimate sacrifice He made so we might live? Wow. I can't even begin to grasp this.

A Welcome Memory

What better way to spend a birthday but to play at Mass & have the humbling experience to have your feet washed? I took the day off of work because I had a doctor's appointment. In the morning, I heard cardinals...a lot of cardinals. There's a saying that when you see a cardinal it's a sign that someone in heaven is praying for you. Seeing and hearing cardinals have been a great comfort to me since my mom's and then my dad's passings. I had to smile and say a quick prayer when I heard a cardinal singing. While sitting on the porch with my dad one day a few years ago, we heard a bird & he pointed out that it was a cardinal singing "pretty, pretty, pretty". Who knew that passing of information would bring me such comfort in the future!
Since my mother's passing a few years ago, Holy Thursday has been exceptionally emotional for me, especially during the Transfer of the Blessed Sacrament. She was the organist for about 40 years, so when I hear Pange Lingua Gloriosi I hear her singing and I tear up. It's such a beautiful hymn and I am filled with such gratitude for having her as my mother and for passing on the Catholic Faith.

Unexpected Emotions

Some Triduums affect me more emotionally than others. I did not expect to feel this way at this minute, on this Good Friday, because I don't think I'm as prepared for Easter as other years.  Maybe that's why it's hitting me so hard all at once. I'll go through my day doing what I have to do. I'll start preparing for Easter Dinner and will go to the Living Stations of the Cross as well as the Celebration of the Passion of the Lord tonight. I will do my best to realize and try to grasp just what He has done for me.

Down & Dirty

Picture courtesy of Dreamstime
In today's Homily, the Deacon said some things that confirmed something that I read: God gives us struggles so we will turn to him. We have to die in order to spiritually grow closer to God. He didn't say that exact thing, but that was what I took from it.

Getting "Down & Dirty"

He began by talking about having a perfect grain of wheat. Some people would polish it and put it in a glass case, hidden from view to protect it. I totally get that...it's the same way with faith. Yes, it should be polished, but put in a glass case hidden from view? No. Jesus calls us to take our faith, polish it, but then share it with others. We shouldn't take our faith and hide it. He calls us to evangelize and share.
Just like the grain of wheat has to fall to the ground and get dirty, so we have to take our faith and "get down and dirty" with it.  He suggests taking our Lenten practices and continuing it after Easter as a way to "get dirty". We have to die to ourselves so that we can grow into something new & different.

Called to Him Through Struggles

I have 3 adult sons with adult challenges. One of them is going through some especially difficult challenges; it seems like he just can't catch a break. Every time things seem to be turning for the better, something else happens.  As a mom, it's heartbreaking to know I have no control over it and I can't fix it for him.  I read somewhere (I can't find it now...it may have been in Matthew Kelly's book Perfectly Yourself) that God will call you through your struggles. Will it fix everything? No. But it will give you the patience and will give you joy as you're going through it. It will definitely take some of the sting out of things happening. It is through these struggles that God will create a clean heart in us.

A Wonderful Harvest in the Making

He is constantly calling us back to Him; I think He is practically begging. What will it take before some will hear His call and will return to His fold? I am constantly praying for the intercession of St. Anne & St. Monica, but I have to also remember to ask Jesus to allow me to truly trust in Him. Your will, not mine.  I have to ask to be able to accept His will, whatever it may be. I have taken that perfect grain of wheat off the shelf and out of the glass case and put in full view. It still needs a lot of polishing, but I'm working on sharing it. I'm getting down and dirty with it. I pray that it takes hold and produces a wonderful harvest!


{SQT} We've Got a Cathedral!

I've been on Spring Break this week and my husband took the week off as well. Our initial plans to camp were put aside because I had weather concerns. We had flurries a couple of times this week, and I didn't want to camp and be cold. (Yep, I'm spoiled that way!) We took one day and went to the nearby city. I live in a young Diocese that is only 27 years old, so we didn't have a Cathedral, per se. The Cathedra was housed in an existing older church, so "we" built a Cathedral. It was dedicated just last week. As we were out & about one day, my husband asked where it was and wanted to see it. I watched part of the dedication on the internet, but seeing it in person was just breathtaking.

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Statue of St. John Paul II on the side wall

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View of the altar

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The altar is made of marble from the same quarry as the marble Michealango used to carve the Pieta.
The tabernacle is repurposed from a church in the Netherlands. It is over 100 years old and weighs over 500 pounds.
The Baldacchino is actually made from wood finished in faux marble paint. 

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In the dome, there are pictures of saints who are either American or are of nationalities found within our Diocese. These pictures were painted on canvas and then applied by hand to the dome. The main feature of the dome is the Sacred Heart of Jesus with Mary & Joseph on either side of Jesus. The 12 apostles are around the dome. In the 4 corners just under the dome are the 4 evangelists: Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John.

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This picture came out a little blurry, but it is the back of the cathedral. We weren't allowed to go to the choir loft to see the organ, but the pipes were spectacular.

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These statues are in the front of the Cathedral, just as you walk in:
Saint Faustina


Saint/Mother Teresa
I"m assuming this is St. Joseph? (Someone correct me if I'm wrong!) A commenter said this is St. Peter. I should've googled to see who it was! THANK YOU!!!

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The dedication stone

A close-up of the plaque. 
It is an absolutely beautiful church, and, in my opinion, one that rivals some of the churches I've seen in Europe.

I'm linking up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes.

Rejoicing with Grace in the Middle of Lent

The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines grace as favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to be children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life. (CCC 1996) In RCIA this week, someone had a very good question: What is the difference between grace & blessing? The Catechism explains blessing as expressing the basic movement of Christian prayer; it is an encounter between God and man. In blessing, God's gift and man's acceptance of it are united in dialogue with each other, the prayer of blessing is man's response to God's gifts: because God blesses, the human heart can in return bless the One who is the source of every blessing. (CCC 2626) I interpret that to mean that through God's blessing, we receive grace. Please keep in mind that I am not a theologian and have never taken college courses on theology. This is just my simple mind trying to wrap my head around this week's Readings.

Rejoice in the middle of Lent?

The priests and deacons wear pink (or rose...the deacon is adamant that they are rose!) vestments this week. Lent is a time for confession, penance, and reconciliation. Here we are in the middle of Lent, and it's a day of rejoicing. (Enter record scratch here.) Wait...what? Yes, I said rejoicing. In the middle of Lent!  It's time to come out of the darkness to prepare for our risen Lord. To get to that, first, we have to relive his passion.  But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Today is the day to get a breather. Take a deep breath, look back on how you've been doing during Lent with your spiritual health, and get ready for the "heavy week". As I get older, Holy Week takes on more meaning. As I reflect on how my Lent has been going, I have work to do. Serious work. I slacked off this past week and haven't felt myself getting closer to God. I feel like I'm hiding in the darkness.

Coming Out of the Dark

When I was a child, I'm pretty sure if I did something I wasn't supposed to I would sneak and hide. (Getting sweets when I wasn't supposed to comes to mind!) We have a dog (who is actually my son's...she's our house guest until he graduates) who will run and hide under the bed when she's done something wrong. I think those are 2 pretty good examples of hiding in the darkness due to sin. (You might argue that dogs can't sin, but that's a topic for another day.) In the dog's case, once we cajole her and talk sweetly to her, she'll come out from under the bed. As people, once we're told it's okay and we're forgiven, don't we feel as if the darkness has dissipated? During his Homily, the priest said that Jesus came to bring light to the world. Lent is not about darkness so we shouldn't hide but instead come out into the light. As Catholics, we receive grace when we go to confession and are absolved of our sins. What an amazing blessing God has given us!

Just Go

Communal penitential services are a perfect time to prepare yourself to receive the grace given to us through the Sacrament of Penance. Or, go to confession at your parish's scheduled time. If that doesn't work for you, call the parish office and make an appointment for the priest to hear your confession. Just go to prepare yourself for Holy Week.

During the Homily, Father mentioned that as Christians, we continue to be drawn to God. I momentarily got distracted by Audrey Assad's song coming to mind:



Time to Clear Out


Flashback to Wednesday afternoon. I pulled out my Magnificat to read the Gospel for Sunday before RCIA. The problem was, there were 2 different readings. Are we in Year A or B? I just chalked it up to God just wanting me to listen as it was read during RCIA, only this week we didn't have the Gospel reading and discussion we usually do. I shrugged it off because surely the USCCB will tell me exactly which one to read. Sunday morning I pulled up USCCB on my tablet, but it didn't tell me which one to read. I was a little frustrated. So, I pulled up my email, because my Blessed is She email will have the Readings listed. And it did. I did a little chuckle when I realized That the Gospel tells about the time Jesus went into the temple with a whip, overturning tables and yelling because it had been turned into a marketplace. That pretty much calmed my frustration pretty quickly. I found it interesting that God let me feel so frustrated before reading the Gospel. I know the frustration I felt was just a minuscule fraction of what Jesus felt.

It had to be over the top

The Gospel this week is a story we all know. It's the story about when Jesus gets mad. Honestly, this has always confused me, because Jesus is perfect and, to me, should never get mad. Losing your patience is a sin, right? Looking at it right now, at this moment, I get it. He did what he had to in order to make the people see what they were doing. He had to "overexaggerate" if you will. If he had just walked in the temple and politely said, "Okay, you guys. This is my father's house, and what you're doing is not allowed in here, so pick up your merchandise and get your animals out of here", they would have looked at him and laughed him out of the temple. No, it took something over the top for them to see just how serious this was.

The "Aha Moment"

During his homily, Father took notice that Jesus drove out the sheep and the oxen; however, he told the ones with the doves to just get them out of there. I can picture Jesus looking at them with compassion and quietly telling them to get the birds out. I never realized the significance of the birds, or that Jesus treated them differently. Father explained that when people came from all over for the Passover, some traveled a great distance. The animal to be sacrificed had to be unblemished, so I imagine that those travelers couldn't chance bringing an animal, only to have something happen to it before the sacrifice. They bought unblemished animals in Jerusalem. The doves were less expensive, so the poor were the ones who purchased them. Therein lies the explanation as to why Jesus gently (in my opinion) told those sellers to take the doves out.  And that was my "Aha moment" of the day.

Clearing out your temple

Our parish priest is such an amazing homilist. I'm always eager to hear his homilies when I find out he is the celebrant for Mass because I know it's going to be good.  They aren't long, but they are short, sweet, and to the point. Not only that but relatable to the here and now. This week's homily was no different. In relating the Gospel to today, he said that Lent is a time of cleaning out your temple. It's now that we refocus on what is important: not the material things or selfishness, but getting right with God. He said, now is the time to "clear out what gets in our way so we can rejoice with a pure heart." 
We are just about halfway through Lent. Father's words have given me a sense of urgency; I am nowhere near ready to rejoice with a pure heart. I'm getting there. Every time I think I'm on the way I have a setback, but I always seem to get back on the right track. Maybe that's what Lent is all about: the ups and downs, the trials and rejoicing. God definitely doesn't let me too proud of myself! Especially lately, He's keeping me humble!
How is Lent going for you? Are you ready to rejoice with a pure heart or are you sensing the urgency as I am?